Man Vs Machine

I know this guy called Milton who might be the fastest human on earth. He's like a mongoose and a 12 speed Cuisinart Blender combined. The word on the street is he's never lost a foot race, ever. So, I have a challenge to you Mr. Milton. Foot Race: You Vs the J. from Market to 30th. No holds barred / Winner takes all! Any time, any place. The J and I await your response.

Jreaming

I often wonder late at night when I am in bed if the J is thinking about me. I picture her parked in a very long garage in front of a tennis ball hanging from a string so she doesn't hit the wall. I know the J sleeps well cus I often find bottles of NyQuil on the floor in the morning.

J Breakin Down

Hey Jack, with that attitude you can just go and get off on Market Street and get the F-Stop Blues.

Should I have used 'J can go and get F'ed' as the Title?

Gracias WSJ

I rode on the earlier J Car this morning and let me tell you the 6:45 crowd is a whole lot more distinguished than the 8:15 crowd. At one point one WSJ reader offered me some change as if I were homeless. I put don’t my copy of the Examiner and took the change with a 'what the f*@k' shrug. I got a chance to thank WSJ later when I ran into him with my Blue Bottle Espresso while leaving the Coffee Shop.

J-cuzzi

If I could add any amenity to the J it would have to be a Jacuzzi. The hot tub would be the perfect place for the after work crowd to relax. Not to mention a more romantic place than the alley for bum sex to go down.